Blended Families: Blending families is a very difficult thing to do well. Often the kids feels the other step-parent is partial to their children. The kids can be disrespectful to the new spouse or significant other (You aren’t my dad! I don’t have to listen to you!).
Parents and step-parents have different parenting styles,
ideas and follow-through. It’s common for one or both parents to get undermined in front of the children.
Establishing new family standards, expectations and traditions can be fun and exciting, but they can also take a deep toll on parents and children. Open and Direct Communication, defining roles in the newly created family and articulating expectations so that both adults and all of the kids are all on the same page really helps in this process.
Ex’s: Dealing with the other parents (ex’s) can also be quite challenging. We all know that it is best when all parents can put the needs of their children first and that other matters be secondary issues. But the reality is, often there is one birth parent who is more worried about getting their needs met regardless of the pain in causes their children.
The Missing Parent: Is when a birth parent has abandoned the child, or dropped out of the picture completely, Some parents drop out of their kids lives when they re-marry and start a new family, some parents simply choose not to be a parent and have no contact with their children.
When a parent drops out of a kid’s life, it is especially hard on a child and teen—it is “the painful gift that keeps on giving.” The abandoned child or teen typically:
- Worries about this missing parent too much of the time
- Put the missing parent on a pedestal (if I lived with my real Dad, he’d never get mad over my failing grades)
- Blame themselves for their parent disappearing out of their lives
- They carry an intense amount of emotional pain. That pain often comes out as anger directed at the stable parent.
- Kids reacting to these tragic events really benefit from counseling.
